The Web Editor, He Speaks!

Written by Lane Hill
Megaphone Web Editor

Most of you don’t know me because the writers do not interact with me much/at all. But that’s okay. Here I am. This little part of the Staff Blog is going to be about: pick up trucks, coffee, who I find attractive, why I hate printers, word processors, and why I’m doomed.

Do you like lists? I love lists, and I find it easier to communicate if I list out everything on bullet points.

  • I drive a 2002 Chrysler 300M. It’s a midsize sedan – however, it is dwarved by the size of huge trucks and cars. If I’m parked in between two gigantic cars, I get very paranoid that a car is going to come by and not see me. That’s a horrifying feeling – just going on your day, and then WHAM! Car out of nowhere. Plus, why do people buy pick ups or SUVs if they are not going to use it for their intended purpose? If you’re a farmer, or you have to regularly pull a boat or a trailer, that I understand. But if you’re just some cool dude, and you buy an F-250 for no reason…I mean, come on. You gotta be making up for something, whether it’s the size of your brain…or other parts.
  • Collary to the above: Why must you put balls on your truck. LOL MY TRUCK HAS TESTICLES. Yeah. I find fart jokes funny too.
  • Coffee is awesome. It has a strong flavor. It’s an awesome flavor. It has helpful oils & nutrients. It’s pretty much calorie-free if you drink it black. It comes in many different varieties. It’s more manly than tea. Kids aren’t allowed to drink it – it’s actually in the Constitution! It also probably fuels some sort of evil misogynistic racist industry too, but oh well. *sip*
  • Actresses who I find physically attractive: Maggie Gyllenahaal, Gretta Garbo, Christina Ricci, Marilyn Monroe, Cate Blanchett, Naomi Watts and that’s all I can think of at the moment.
  • I hate hate HATE printers. I was in the middle of printing a paper when my printer broke down. While trying to fix the problem, I put too much pressure on the top and destroyed the flatbed scanner. I went out of control in rage, and went outside to have the printer meet its doom at the end of a 9-Iron. I eventually got my roomate in on this too. Wonderful stress reliever. As a side note, the spare printer I had when I bought my computer works perfectly and it’s quite fast. So, this stupid tale has a happy ending.
  • Word processors (such as Microsoft Word, Pages, Microsoft Works, OpenOffice Writer…) suck. On my laptop I have to use OO Writer because my copy of Office decided it never existed. Even if I save as a .doc file, it’ll ALWAYS save it as an .odt. With all word editors, there is no easy way to declare what part of a paragraph should be indented which way, and what represents a block quote…and etc. One day, I will make a Word Processor that is easy to use. The secret in this would just have to be use some sort of XML format and….(technobabble)
  • Why I’m doomed: I have psoriasis on my hand, way too open about my life, and I’m working three jobs and taking 16 hours of class. I love to work, and I love to be busy. I’m happy getting 5 hours of sleep a night.
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