Looking at colleges can be a difficult, challenging, and exciting process. You may have parents suggesting possible options, a high school guidance counselor advising you on fit, or your own opinions regarding the qualities that your ideal college should hold.

Southwestern’s academic atmosphere, dorm and social life, and extracurricular activities can best be explained by those of us who live here. To allow you to see the many possibilities that attending Southwestern can bring, we want these journal entries to reflect what Southwestern is through our eyes. Each of us posting journals has a unique view of the school - we are from different cities, each involved in different activities, live in different residence halls, and have different majors.

Facts and figures alone can’t explain what it’s like to walk around campus on a sunny day, play on one of Southwestern’s athletic teams, or make your first ‘A’ in a college course. These are our lives; hopefully they will help you decide how you want to live yours.

While I’m at it, I thought, let’s get some exercise done. Actually, the exercise was not superfluous. It was essential. Every time I jog when I stop I can feel the blood rush to my head. It’s almost like it fills my head and anything else in there gets pushed out. It feels like, for a moment, I have no thoughts.

We live in a world of screens and symbols. Between tvs, computer screens, and windshields, we have nourished a fundamental abstraction from our  perception of the world. Have you ever known someone for a long time, and then suddenly one day looked at them and it seemed to you that you were looking at their face for the first time. Sometimes you’ll be lost in thought, and when you finally ‘come out’ of it, and the world around you will seem utterly real and there for just a moment, and then you’ll slip back into your mental chatter, and a screen comes down over everything.

There is a park near to school, called San Gabriel, and in it a bike path that goes around town begins. I jogged there the other day, and since I had never jogged or walked it, it was all novel, it was kind of fresh and new. That combined with the exercise made me feel, at moments, like I was almost actually experiencing it. For the most part I was fighting in my head, trying to stop thinking so much, trying to make the words stop forming, and just take it in. But it’s not easy. I mean, silence isn’t something we as Americans are used to. We don’t even realize how hard it is to quiet our own inner chatter because we rarely are left alone with it.

But this path was amazing. It goes under highways and bridges, traverses at one point a residential area. You think you’re in a forest, though. There are creeks, either fed by or feeding the San Gabriel River, which follow the path for a long time. The autumn colors are in their height. There is underbrush along the path and  leaves carpeting the floor among the trees. Every ten minutes or so you encounter deer, alone or in groups.

At one point I was walking back, after 3 1/2 miles, and I glanced to my left off the side of the path where the terrain quickly rose into an embankment. One the top of this little mound following the path was a baby deer among the bushes. It was still and austere, simple. It didn’t move, it didn’t look cautious or agitated. It was simply taking me in.

This experience did more than any Wednesday night study breaks at the frat houses ever could (not that I’ve attended the frat houses during the weekdays). At some point I felt at peace, like I was living life the way it was supposed to be, without concern. Not thinking about things that aren’t there, including the future. Not about school, or about relationships, I didn’t think of a movie that the path reminded me of, or have a song stuck in my head. I wasn’t removed from that which was around me, it was as if a sense of touch had seeped into my sight, I had an intimate relationship with everything that I saw. Things were things in themselves, singular- that bush, that leaf. Things weren’t grouped together into overarching ideas that killed the here and now, like ‘forest’ or ‘ground’.

I want to go more often, but soon I’ll be familiar with the path, I’ll know the bends and the notable landmarks (the huge log here, boulder there). Soon familiarity will descend upon everything that I see like a blanket, a screen that I can’t escape. And in the face of this screen my thoughts will project outwards, and my sense of being in the world will fade. I will be trapped inside again.

I remember the last election. I was in Missouri at Drury University. As the night wore on, and it became clear that Kerry was going to lose, a feeling of despair overtook everyone. Kerry wasn’t nearly as worthy of a candidate as Obama is, but all the same the majority of young people were depressed by the four more years of Bush.

When Obama won the feeling all around the election party at the McCombs Ballroom was amazing–so hopeful and so joyful. I think for some of the students in there they might not even remember how disparaging it was when Bush won again.

I, at least, have been rather cynical about national politics ever since the 2000 election, and my cynicism was not helped when Bush managed to win again. What was so sobering and exciting about last Tuesday was watching the democratic process really work–to see people get behind the idea of “change.” Regardless of whether that will actually materialize into something different. Really for the first time in my life, I sort of started to believe that politics did not have to be a total personal compromise. What we have in Obama (or what I think we might have) is a candidate not afraid to speak honestly with the public, and who appears to be more  in touch with the lived experience of so many Americans. And while I never hopped on the Obama bandwagon, I’m excited by the shift in political engagement that it might represent.

A large number of students organizations, Korouva Milk Bar included, hosted a party in the ballroom. We moved our entire operation over there and actually sold coffee and tea that is until the election was (rather preemptively) called for Obama. Then everyone switched to champagne. :)

The feeling in that room…wow. It’s rare you get 40-50 people around two small televisions screens and they can manage to be quiet. Watching McCain’s concession speech, and Obama’s subsequent acceptance speech was amazing, in part, because everyone in the room shut up and listened. In retrospect, how fortunate we were this year to have TWO decent candidates and not two candidates that we have to settle for.

Afterward, we didn’t really know what to do with ourselves. We haphazardly marched over to the fountain in front of campus: some of us jumped in, some people cheered, the national anthem was sung, more champagne was had. There really was this overwhelming joy that we couldn’t find away to express.

Naturally, I had to stop enjoying myself. Capstone called. An all-nighter ensued. I must confess though. The joy surrounding the entire event did not go away the next day or the day after that.

I talked to some friends on other campuses and they confirmed the same stuff was going on there. The next day I received emails from all of my friends i’d met in France: they were excited for Americans.

I’m not necessarily complaining, though. As I was explaining (and possibly complaining about) the week ahead of me to my mom last weekend, she told me she wasn’t surprised at all that I was so busy. She said I’d never been quite happy without filling my time up with commitments. I guess you could say I’m a serial over-committer.

Now, to the points of most interest:

Number one: election night (obviously)
I’m trying not to be too over dramatic but it’s very possible that last Tuesday was the happiest night of my life. It just all came together so well. I had an eight page research paper due Wednesday afternoon that I knew would NOT get finished Tuesday night. SO, I holed myself up in the library and finished it in exactly three hours and forty-five minutes Tuesday afternoon.  It was on the Sandinista revolution, one of only a few successful wars of rebellion fought in Latin America, and therefore at least a little bit inspirational to this sometimes disillusioned Latin American Studies major. It was actually a pretty fun paper to write and research for.

But, back to the election. I was glued to CNN from the moment I got home from the library. As soon as they announced Ohio, I knew I could start celebrating, albeit a little bit cautiously. Students for Activism at Southwestern had a results watching party that night so I was able to see the official announcement and both speeches with all of my friends and fellow activists. It was so moving being with so many people that had so much invested in this election. There were more than a few tears shed. It felt even better knowing that I had been able to help him win (he won both counties in New Mexico that we canvassed in!!). After reading and writing about violent revolutionary movements and government repression all day, it was especially inspiring to see our country call for change in a peaceful and democratic way- and to be heard!

But, I know our job is far from over. Now is the most important time for action. The American people have spoken but that definitely doesn’t mean we can now be silent. We must hold our government (on all levels) accountable for their campaign promises and ensure that the change we voted for actually materializes. Now the real work begins.

Number two: Halloween
Okay, so it wasn’t quite as exciting as electing the first African-American president but Halloween was definitely a fun time. I’ve never been all that good at Halloween costumes. I can remember far too many Halloweens in the past involving my Mom and I frantically trying to come up with one at the last minute. It normally ended in me being the same thing I was the year before. I think my best one was the year I went as Mimi from the Drew Carrey Show.

This year I was Mother Nature one night and a butterfly fairy the next. Neither were too spectacular but my only qualification for both was that I get to wear a cute dress. I feel like my costume creativity is severely hampered by the sheer volume of costume parties already present on this campus. I’ve already spent my ideas on previous parties.

Number three: homecoming!
This weekend was SU’s homecoming. I remember last year’s homecoming not being nearly as exciting as this year’s. It’s a lot different when you don’t know any of the alums returning to campus and really only notice it’s even Homecoming because there are a bunch of adults at the frat houses. This year, though it was tons of fun to see friends that graduated last year. I got to see a bunch of ADPis that I had missed a lot!

The best part of Homecoming, though, was the surprise reappearance of the Kappa Sigma house last night! The house has been closed all semester, a fact that has left me in a perpetual funk. But yesterday, because of the unique circumstances of alumni weekend, the house was open for a night. The band Hard Knox and the Heads (a band of Sig alums) played and everyone rocked out. Definitely a highlight of a semester- and a reminder of how excited I am for next semester when the house is open for good again.
So, there are somewhere around a million other things I could talk about but I’m trying spare you from having to read a novel.

There are exciting things coming up this next week, though! Next Saturday, SU is sponsoring the Youth Environmental Summit, a program for high school environmental groups. I’m helping out and giving a training. Also, my roommate Leah and our friend Lorena are putting together a proposal to attend the Clinton Global Initiative University in February. I’m very excited to get to work on that, as well as to start looking for funding to attend the PowerShift conference in D.C., also in February.

Until then, I’ll continue my search for a functional cloning device or maybe even a time machine.

As a part of Student Foundation, which is the student organization on campus that serves as a liaison between students, faculty, and alumni, and as a member of Alpha Delta Pi sorority, I was an integral part of the homecoming festivities. I basically had to block my day off into hour increments just to keep straight everywhere I had to be. (I’m a pretty good example of how over-committed conscientious students at SU can be…) The day began with the homecoming parade. The homecoming theme was “Southwestern’s Greatest Hits” and the parade theme was “One Hit Wonders.” Our float for ADPi was Macarena themed. We all stood in a trailer attached to a truck covered in streamers, wearing tie dye tshirts, and doing the Macarena for about an hour. We had dancing, a dog, a baby, and candy, so I think we were pretty hard to resist. During the picnic on the mall, the parade winners were announced, and—drum roll please—we won! We received a check and the title of Best Overall Float.

After the parade and picnic, I watched a bit of the alumni lacrosse game. It was absolutely beautiful outside, so it was a really great break in the middle of the day. I was wearing my official Student Foundation polo and name tag, and a reporter from the Williamson County Sun actually interviewed me about homecoming. (I think that’s probably the third time I’ve been interviewed by that newspaper…You’ve gotta love small town news!)

I finally had to force myself to leave my perfect little moment and head over to the Cullen building for Classes Without Quizzes. I had been asked to introduce Dr. Selbin, my absolutely phenomenal advisor, at the event honoring the 10^th anniversary of his First Year Seminar “The Secret History of the Twentieth Century.” I’d always wondered what that FYS was about, since I’d heard only cryptic snippets. The event was set up where alumni presented research they had done based on this FYS in years since having taken it. I can’t really describe how cool this experience was and how blown away I was by these people. At the reception afterward, I got to talk to the alumni and got into a rousing discussion on how SU has changed over the years. They were really excited and shocked to hear how much more active SEAK has become. I also took great advantage of the situation to network and now definitely have some cool internship leads!

After that, I ran back to my room and rushed to get changed into classy attire for open chapter meeting for ADPi. (And by rush I really mean freak out and manage to have shower curtain fall on top of me, razor go flying, and lotion bottle break apart…) I managed to emerge from my room looking presentable and kind of maybe gorged myself a bit on the delicious finger foods in the chapter room…and met some really cool ladies from the class of 1958!

Possibly the most anticipated part of homecoming is SING, the night of skits put on by various organizations on campus. I didn’t get to participate in ADPi’s skit since I am in Student Foundation and had to run around like crazy backstage the whole time, but I am SO proud of ADPi! Everyone did a great job on their skits, and though we didn’t win, I think we were a hit. The ADPis dressed up in genuinely terrifying zombie costumes and danced and sang to a variety of songs from Monster Mash to Bright Side of Life. The audience was very enthusiastic, and the whole thing was really fun.

I am absolutely exhausted and a little bit sick after the last week of intense test-age and this weekend of homecoming fun, but it was worth it.

In celebration of the end of the election, Student Peace Alliance is hosting a viewing party on election night on campus. I’ve been going to events all semester for watching the debates and political issue discussions. I’m really excited, and hopeful, as the election comes to an end, and of course, if you haven’t already… GO VOTE ON TUESDAY!

I’ve also been really busy with Tri Delta. Last Friday, along with Kappa Sigma, we had a volleyball tournament where people donated money to basically watch us show our athletic talent, or lack of (in my case). We raised over $300 in 5 hours and all of the money went to Dylan, a 4 year old little boy, and family friend of SU student Kaity Cromwell. Dylan was recently diagnosed with stage IV lymphoma, and all of the money raised will help his family with some of their medical costs. We also had Delta Desserts on the 29th, which is our annual big philanthropy event for St. Jude’s Research Hospital. Every Tri Delt bakes two or more desserts, people pay $5, and it’s all-you-can-eat. I’m not sure of the exact total, but I believe we raised close to $1000. It was such a fun evening, we held it at the Howry Center (which is a small banquet room with an outdoor patio on the golf course at SU), and we had so many people come by during the 3 hours of the event. I almost got pied in the face, people could pay $1 to vote for which Tri Delt gets the pie, but thankfully despite the efforts of many of my friends, I lost by 1 vote to fellow senior Porscha Williams.

For Halloween, my roommates and I decided to host a party. Halloween is probably my favorite holiday, I love making costumes, and it’s so fun to see what other people create. This year I was a ‘Jenn and Tonic’, and my roommate let our reality tv show addiction out in the open with her costume of ‘Jon and Kate + 8′. My house and I are still recovering from the weekend, and going back to the harsh reality of working on my capstone and other school work.

Speaking of my capstone, I’m really excited about, love my topic, am enjoying researching, but am also getting more and more nervous about my final product. My class (there’s 7 of us, all writing different papers relating to the relevance of the Communist Manifesto) will be presenting our work on December 4th and will be inviting the entire SU community, especially other political science majors and professors. We’re planning on a pretty elaborate panel discussion with food, poster art, and a question and answer session. While the planning for the presentation is complete, I still have SO MUCH WORK to do on my actual paper, which is due by December 8th. I’m expecting the month of November to be completely consumed by Marx.Homecoming is next weekend! SO excited! I have to go to SING practice right now, I’m in two dances for the Tri Delt skit, and I can’t dance at all, so I need as much practice as possible before the performance on Saturday evening. I’m really looking forward to seeing friends who graduated when they come back to SU for the weekend… more updates soon!… GO VOTE ON NOVEMBER 4th.

Most capstones last a semester, but in the psychology department, if you choose to do research with a professor, then you have to stick it out for two semesters, a full year.

There were two groups in our capstone working on different studies (which were interrelated) and one person serving as a go between. You wouldn’t believe the planning that goes into a study. The materials took FOREVER because if you pick the wrong kind of scales or measurements or instruments then the experiment could only be so good even if everything else is planned perfectly. While we were designing the study we  also had  to write up proposals for the Institutional Review Board (which makes sure the study abides by codes of ethics) and some grant applications too.

Well, we’re past the midway point now. But we’re still collecting data for the second study (around 50 people one at a time for 45 minutes each) and we haven’t really begun scoring the data. Which is bad, because time is running short. At the end of November we have to have some data not only scored by analyzed and the results and everything written up for an application to present at a conference in the spring.

But my main point is that my brain is fried from this endeavor and a regular class schedule. Fried. And that’s why Psi Chi Honor Society (for psychology) started selling t-shirts this semester that said “I’m so Capstoned.”

And many were sold. The consensus is great.

The other factor is that studying philosophy really can make you crazy. I’ve been working on a portion of my capstone which involves memory: How do sensory impressions become a part of our memory, do they at all? How are we able to recall these memories? The great thing about philosophy is that often times what you’re studying can be “tested” in your everyday life. The thing that drives me crazy about philosophy is that there isn’t a very clear separation between it and the rest of my life!  Sometimes, you just need a break… I think this is what makes us, philosophy students, all a little off-kilter. Maybe this is why the philosophy building is the farthest away from the center of campus.

I’m very excited about tonight. I’m going to be a Girl Gone Wild for Halloween. I figured the easiest way to be irreverent would be to turn the idea that everyone-should-dress-scandalously into something disgusting.  On Saturday I’m going to be Hall and Oates with Stanko. I’ll be Hall. He’s gonna be Oates. The idea behind this is simply that Stanko looks a lot like Oates and that the music of Hall and Oates is amazing. It’s very exciting this year there are so many Halloween parties on and off campus. I don’t think I’ll be able to hit ‘em all up.  On Saturday I’m going to a Haunted House in east Austin at The Vortex.

I’m very sad that I won’t be spending my last Halloween at the Sig House for Masquerade. Masquerade is one of the best parties every year without fail. I’ve heard at the very least that the sig house will reopen next semester.

Other than partying when I can’t afford it and being too busy in general, everything is the same.

(sigh.) wish me luck.

Last Monday night, I went into Austin with a group of friends to see Girl Talk at Emo’s. All I can say is “Wow.” If you haven’t heard Girl Talk, you should. It’s the stage name of Greg Gillis, a DJ of sorts, that takes top 40 hits, classic rock, indie bands… pretty much everything, and makes them into crazy cool dance songs and mash-ups.  It was possibly the most insane and ridiculous show I’ve ever attended (and I’ve been to some crazy shows). There were moments when I was literally lifted off of my feet and placed back down a few feet away by the surging mosh pit around me. I almost got trampled a couple times. My friend Kim lost her glasses. By the time we left, we were all soaked in sweat and had a few new bruises but on a euphoric dance party high. If you haven’t gathered yet, it was awesome.

A photo my friend Sara took of the crowd at Girl Talk from the stage. Yes, she got to go on stage. I’m so jealous.

In completely unrelated news, the weather around here seems to be unable to make up its mind. Saturday, APO had our fall party; we tie-dyed shirts and painted pumpkins for a local Hospice. But it was hot. SO hot. Especially for the end of October. Then yesterday we had a glorious SEAK potluck/picnic (potnic? picluck?) at the San Gabriel Park. It was the most beautiful day EVER. Sunshine and breeze, beautiful food and people… And now today it is so freaking cold. Well, I mean, it’s like 60 something. But windy. I had to bust out the tights and a jacket. But the forecast says it will be back to the 70’s tomorrow. You’ve gotta love that Texas weather. It’s a fickle creature…

I’m looking at my planner right now and I’m starting to rethink my earlier statement about lack of stress. There’s barely any white space left anywhere on this week’s page. There are just too many amazing things that all got planned for the same time. I think I might need a clone. (Maybe I should have been a biochem major?). Among the upcoming events: Tonight, Latinos Unidos are hosting a speaker from the organization Just Harvest USA, a group that works with migrant workers in the US and runs campaigns to raise awareness of and put an end to the injustices faced by agricultural workers in the US today. Thursday, THE DECEMBERISTS ARE PLAYING AT SU!! Every year, the school gets one famous, nationally touring artist to come to campus and this year it’s the Decemberists. I am beyond excited as they have been one of my favs for a long time and their shows are so much fun. This weekend there are innumerable amounts of fun Halloween related activities that I am remiss to detail (my parents read this blog) but it will certainly be a good time. But it will probably include some blocks of study time, too. This homework drought will definitely not last forever.

My mom always reminds me that the best way to get out of a funk is to go help someone else. In the better-known words of Mark Twain, “The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up.” Last week I finally got to start mentoring through Georgetown Partners in Education again at a nearby elementary school, and I think it’s really helped me with the aforementioned funk. Every Thursday, I go to lunch and recess with my mentee. It’s always a bit strange to walk into an elementary school and feel like a giant, not fitting in the mini furniture and towering over everyone around me (something I’m not very used to at 5’3”)…but there is absolutely nothing like little kids to make me happy. They are all so curious and excited to see a “big kid” there with them.

More importantly, I get to spend some really good one-on-one time with my mentee. If she needs to talk, then we just talk. But we also play games, swing on the swings, etc. Last week we wrote a poem, and next week we’re going to start writing letters to each other. I never cease to be amazed at how smart and articulate my fourth grader is. As cliché as it might sound, I think she and I kind of need each other at this point. She told me two weeks ago that I was her first mentor to come back two years in a row, and I am so happy that I could look her in the eyes and tell her that I would be there for her as long as I was at Southwestern and would not let her down. I know she needs a little extra love, and I need the perspective she gives me.

In general I’m feeling a lot happier and more content than I was for the first half of this semester. The recent passing of the SU swim coach was an extremely hard blow, and I’m still dealing with the emotional impact of that, but I have learned how much I really can lean on my friends, if for nothing else than to find an adventure to distract me from sadness or stress. Fortunately, I’m doing well in school again—even anatomy, surprisingly enough. SEAK is nothing but amazing and my favorite part of every week. Cross country is still a bummer, since I still have an unidentified injury…but I’m optimistic that the prescription anti-inflammatory that I’m now on will reduce the pain in my hip. Most importantly, I think I’ve reaffirmed this semester that as much as I might bend, I won’t break.