Students’ Views

A friend compared the study abroad experience to me as “cramming all of college into a semester,” meaning that, you go through similar emotional experiences with the change of entering a new place. Currently, I’m experiencing more anxiety than a new freshmen, my body feels weak, and thinking about getting on a plane in two days is weighing so heavily on my mind that I can barely focus on packing.

I’ve been debating for the past few weeks as summer ended if I still wanted to leave for Germany for the semester. I had countless conversations with friends and professors, with the main response being “You’re going to love it. It’s going to be amazing. You just have to go.” All of which I agree with, but the unknown is a scary thing. I made Pro/Con lists about leaving, I’ve cried, I’ve worried about if I will even have enough money to pay for this experience, and now I’m realizing that no matter what, I am getting on the plane. I am leaving, and what happens after that will be taken in stride.

Everyone asks me “Are you excited about leaving?” I’ve been asked so often, and been so focused on this, that I’ve been using the same speech about where I’m going, and what my plans are – all the while in the back of my mind, worrying, thinking that I really have no idea what I got myself into. I’ve been prolonging my goodbyes, and stayed in Georgetown as long as possible to see everyone again as they started a new school year. It was strange to walk around campus, having the usual “How was your summer?” conversation, but not having a dorm room to decorate, not having first day of class introductions, and as most people packed their cars to come to college, I packed my things to leave.

I am entering my Junior year at Southwestern. It’s comfortable. I have great friends, I know all my professors, and there’s no where else I’d rather go to school. But, this experience will add so much to all that Southwestern has taught me thus far. I will be able to use this part of college not only to study European Union politics, but also to attempt to gain a more worldly perspective outside of my small Texas town upbringing.

I’ve been living in Georgetown all summer, working at a restaurant on the square, taking classes, and trying to prepare to leave. I’ve learned that there’s nothing I can really do to ‘prepare.’ Sure, I can read about the place I’m going, I can organize my things, I can buy a plane ticket, and I can study German. All of this has helped, but until I actually get there, I feel like I’m just going to be worried. But, accepting the worry, and having friends who are supportive has helped me think ahead about all of the amazing things I will see and do this semester. I cannot thank my friends enough for having a ‘Going Away’ party for me, for their encouragement, and for making me realize that distance won’t change a thing as far as how connected I will be.

I’m flying from San Antonio to Chicago, then to London to Basel, Switzerland, and then taking a train to Freiburg, Germany. I’m going on a program with IES focusing on European Union studies where I will take Political Science, Economics, and German language classes. I plan to travel as much as possible – to Berlin, Geneva, Paris, Italy, etc – and I can’t wait to see Europe for the first time.

I’m ready to be gone. I’m ready to start something new. I’m ready to no longer be worried. I will have to stick to a budget, I will have to plan my own travels, and I will have to be in a country where I don’t know anyone. While I may have lost some of my excitement to worry, I am excited to get to the point where I question why I was even worried about leaving to begin with, and where instead desiring to stay here, I won’t want to come back home.

I feel like this is my chance for independence - even though I’ve been living on my own for the most part for two years - this is a chance to really prove myself. I’ve had a very difficult college experience, and a big part of this is to have a change of environment in hopes that I will be able to translate all that I’ve learned at Southwestern to a new place. Professors at Southwestern, as well as the study abroad advisor in the intercultural learning office, and the financial aid office have all been so supportive, and willing to do everything possible in order to relieve my worries. Dr. Selbin, the chair of the Political Science department, sent me several e-mails with advice about being economic with living expenses while abroad. Sue Mennicke, the study abroad advisor, met with me and told me about her own experience of crying in the airport on her way to spend a year in Berlin. Hearing about how other people dealt with leaving has been reassuring to me, and Southwestern has been great about helping me figure out how to make my dreams of leaving become a reality.

When I fly across the ocean in two days, I’m sure I’ll be wondering about what is going on with my friends at Southwestern. I’ll be sad sometimes, but this chance is once in a lifetime, and I’ve worked so hard to get to this point. I can’t wait to write about all that I see and do, and I hope that my anxieties will help others realize the things worth doing come with the most overwhelming obstacles.