Students’ Views

WHITE (English speaking)
MALE
YOUNG
HETEROSEXUAL
WEALTHY (from wealth, at least)
MUSICIAN
“CHRISTIAN” (raised as one, knowledgeable about, if not anything else)
HOUSTONIAN (big city, ‘cultured’)
TEXAN/SOUTHERN
AMERICAN

There’s my little categories of identity list in Georgetown, Austin, Houston, Texas, USA. None of these categories are independent of each other. There are little subsets within each and there all very fluid but that’s a good outline. Sometimes, I’m very aware of being male, straight, white like at my old job. Other times its straight, male, wealthy (with friends.) At restaurants: white and wealthy. Over the winter break it was “Christian,” straight, white, young. When I play music: musician, male, straight, young. When I listen to music: musician, male, young, wealthy. When I go out downtown: wealthy, straight, male, Houstonian. When I’m with family: male, young, straight. The importance of the different categories is situational and always in flux. This is not to say that in any situation this awareness is the main or fundamental experience had.
Significantly, I never ‘feel’ American—this is not because I’m not a good patriot but probably, cuz I live in ‘merica. Occasionally, I ‘feel’ like a Texan but only when I’m up north with my extended family. In France, it’s incredibly different for me especially because I’m the only garcon in my study abroad group. Everyday, I’m involved in many different situations and like at home, it’s always in flux. BUT the changing is not routine yet so I’m very aware of it all the time. Here, it’s more like:

AMERICAN (being foreigner and novel is probably the biggest source of connection I have with people) / TEXAN (it’s phenomenal how far the stereotypes travel.)
MALE (lots of etiquette stuff and, you might guess, I think about women a lot. Also, French is gendered.)
YOUNG (there is the tu and the vous form: informal, formal. Etiquette…)
MUSICIAN (it’s probably the other biggest source of connection with people)
WHITE (There are a lot of immigrants in Toulouse and race is almost inseparable from nationality.)
WEALTHY (well, I’m living in France.)
HETEROSEXUAL (No one talks about it casually here but it’s a little specter that walks with me to the bar! I think it is completely assumed because I’m a male.)

In most of the situations I encounter I am first and foremost an American, walking into a café, going out, with my homestay family, and at school. Its hard to tell how much of this is tied to not being able to speak French.
It’s bizarre to be in a situation where I’m very unknowledgable about probably the biggest category I fall into: American. A couple days ago, I was telling a story to my host brother and some of his friends. One of his friends said afterwards, “You’re a walking stereotype man.” I literally had no idea what he was referring to: because I was telling a story about drugs? I can’t speak French well? I swing my arms when I walk? All of the above? In another situation with some French kids, I met someone who said to me right away (in English) “You’re from Texas? Ah, you like petrol, you wear a cowboy hat, you have a gun, you shoot black people with it.” On the one hand, I knew he was trying to be funny, on the other hand, I wondered how much his humor was ‘French’ and how much he was a jerk. I was too uncomfortable to respond with anything but a laugh. A woman asked me for a lighter one night which she then said she couldn’t use because I was from Texas and we were all fascists. I think in that case she was just an idiot. Regardless, these experiences are maddening. Whenever I go out with two or more of the women in my group, we immediately get identified as Americans. The way we sit at tables is stereotypically American (relatively speaking, very far apart.) The way we talk is stereotypical American (very loud.) The way we mangle French identifies us. The way we dance gives us away in about three seconds!
There are some different notions of personal space here too. Between friends, it is very natural to touch each other on the arm or back while talking, to walk arm in arm. I don’t think it’s entirely different in the States but it tends to happen at a different pace. I’ve become a regular at a café and fairly good friends with one of the servers. The second time I came in, this women put her hand on my arm as she helped me with a map. The third time, she kept her hand on my shoulder as she told me a story. You might’ve guessed that I thought she was interested in me. Well, I soon figured out that she’s married! I met her husband. The physical contact remains the same. As I continued to observe this is how a lot of people interact with one another. The different notions of personal space are in part why some Americans like coming to France. Physical contact is part of how we flirt.
I talked about the elections with my homestay family. I’m very fond of saying at home that I don’t think too much about who I’ll vote for because I live in Texas and it always goes Republican. To my homestay family this was a very serious situation. Well why did I still stay informed if my vote did not matter? (good question) “My opinion about voting is considered very un-American” “but you are still an American.” That’s a good point, famille.
None of this is to say that I’m not having a great time or that being inescapably American is necessarily a bad thing. To the contrary, I think it opens a lot of doors for me. It’s just different….very different.