Deference refers to common courtesy that is extended to one another.  With regard to introductions, juniors are always presented to seniors.  A common rule is to introduce the highest ranking person first, and then introduce everyone to him/her.  Deference is based on rank in a company and not on gender.  Also, remember that a client ALWAYS outranks someone from within your company (even your supervisor).

• Avoid referring to individuals by their first name.  This assumes a friendly relationship and often is not appropriate.
• Use the name that was given during the introduction.  “Steven is Steven, NOT Steve.”
• Name tags should ALWAYS be placed on the right side, so an individual may easily look at your name when shaking your hand.
• If you forget someone´s name, take the embarrassment upon yourself.  Say something like, “I´m sorry I know that we have met before, you are...?”
• Always remember to close an introduction by saying something like, “It was nice to have met you.”  Never simply walk away.

Conversation

 Learn the art of social conversation and appropriate topics of conversation for formal and informal occasions.Social conversation is very important.  Often social conversation can be boring if we are uninterested in talking or if the talk does not pertain to ourselves.  It is important to always be attentive.  Here are some basic rules regarding  social conversation:

• Never complain.  If you are experiencing a problem, deal with it yourself.

There are a great many barriers to effective communication.  If you are too tired, too bored, too hungry, or too angry, you will not be effective. Bad posture, negative facial expressions, poor body language, and bad grammar can also distract people from what you are attempting to communicate.

Social Manners

We´ve got the low-down on how to be a host and what to do when you´re a guest at a party or function.  These helpful hints regarding social manners will ensure that you leave a lasting and postive impression:

• When invited to a party, it is always best to reply within one week of receipt of the invitation.  If you accept the invitation, GO!  If you do not accept, DO NOT GO!
• If your name is the only name on the invitation, you are the only guest.  Do not bring a date or companion.
• If you are not sure what to wear to the party, ask your host.  If they say something like “Business Casual,” find out what they mean by it.  Ask others who are attending what they are wearing.
• If you are a guest, BE ON TIME!  There is no such thing as being “fashionably late.”
• If you are presenting a host gift (which is a nice gesture), make sure that it is a gift, not groceries.  Take anything out of the bag and always take off the price tag.  If the gift is white wine and is meant to be served with the meal, it should already be chilled and ready to serve.  Otherwise, it may be presented warm.
• Don´t arrive starved.  Food is not the purpose of the party, business is.
• If you are a smoker, always ask your host permission to smoke.  If you do not see any ash trays around, the likelihood is that it is a nons-moking home.  Get used to being asked to smoke outside or in the garage.
• If you decide to drink, you should limit yourself to one alcoholic beverage per hour, sipped throughout the hour.
• When you write thank-you notes, you should always hand address the envelope unless you have bad handwriting, You should always use a stamp, not metered mail and send the thank you within twenty-four hours.
• When sending a more formal, professional thank you, type it on the computer in a business letter format.  Make sure to correctly spell the host´s name and title.  It may be advantageous to send multiple thank yous if you had several hosts or it was a reception or dinner.

• You should always be on time and call if you are going to be late.  Allow the host to lead and never fight over the bill.  Always be courteous and thank the host.
• Keep  your briefcase and/or purse off the table.
• Always go to the bathroom to apply your make-up or fix your hair.  Never do it at the table.
• Turn off your cellular phone during a business meeting.  Use public phones when available, or excuse yourself to the bathroom/foyer/phone area to make a call on your cellular phone.
• Never correct others´ poor manners.

Online Etiquette Articles

(These links will take you out of SU Career Services’ site to other Internet sites):

The History of Dining, Etiquette & Social Meaning
Meeting over a Meal can Be Fruitful
Dining Etiquette
The Secrets of the Formal Place Setting
American Table Manners
How to Use a Knife, Fork and Spoon
How to Use a Napkin
Tips and Pitfalls
What You Can Eat with Your Fingers
Test Your Business Etiquette
Global Attitudes:  Dining Etiquette
Manners that Sell (a collection of etiquette articles)

Career Services
Southwestern University, P.O. Box 770, Georgetown, TX 78627-0770, career.services@southwestern.edu , 512.863.1346, 512.863.1270 (fax)